I think this baby’s going through a “growth spurt”. Either that or I’ve swallowed a melon. Though I know better, I’ve been reading about this pregnancy thing. Apparently the digestion “slows down” during pregnancy (translation: you will constantly feel like an overstuffed pillow, yet you’ll be incessantly hungry) and there’s a perfect balance of vitamins and minerals and so on that you’re supposed eat “every day”.

Here’s a short list of “Optimum Daily Fuel Levels”:

• • • • Nine or more servings of fruits & vegetables
      • Three or more servings of whole grain & other grain products
      • Three or more servings of lean protein (and no, BURGERS don’t count…)
      • Five or more grams of fat in the form of omega-3s; five grams of omega-9s; five grams of omega-6s

Seriously, who has the TIME to eat all that – much less the inclination. I’m craving burgers (see above), avocados, and OJ (read: FAT & CARBS). While not the worst cravings to have, they sure don’t help me meet the Optimum Fuel list. I won’t even get started on the “Optimum Vitamin Levels” list. It’s exhausting.

Honestly, I have no idea how those of us whose mothers didn’t have the benefit of all these endless lists ever made it out of the womb in one piece.