As I’ve said many times, we really like Zoe’s school, a lot. And at the risk of coming across as a bad parent, I’m writing this post anyway. It’s the letter I would LIKE to send to that same school, though I am smart enough to know better than to do so.

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Dear School,

Thank you for taking care of my child and teaching her self-confidence and how to get along with others, as you promised. But seriously, we don’t need every single scrap of mangled paper, pinecone, string, feather and so on that she slaps together at school while you’re trying to keep her busy.

After seeing YEARS of art from many many other children (you’ve been around since 1954), surely by now you can select among the “art” and send home just the things that might even loosely be considered “art”. Otherwise, as I’m sure you’re aware, we parents must carry the guilt of [gulp] throwing away the less-than-art things that you diligently send home EVERY SINGLE DAY – over each of which we parents have to pretend to be impressed, every single day.

As an alternative, because I’m aware your school is a busy place with lots of kids to watch over, maybe do fewer “art” projects, ones that span a few days and end up with more than a squiggle and our child’s name (which you clearly wrote). Or if these items are really so amazing, perhaps find a local merchant who’d like to display them – or fill the school’s walls with them collage-style (instead of the very few you display, making me think you DO know which ones are most artistic).

I know you mean well, but honestly, it’s overwhelming.  And since WE are paying YOU, maybe you could do us the favor of reducing the daily output and ongoing guilt we bear for our child’s “art”.

With respect,

Anonymous Parent of One of Your Favorite Students

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Clearly, I am NOT smart enough to NOT post this on the blog I’m writing for our daughter. Though I hope that one day, when she’s old enough to read this, she’ll understand why we don’t still own over 300 X however many years she goes to this school pieces of her lovely “art”.

As a parent of the 21st century (and to alleviate some of my guilt), I’ve chosen to digitize a few pieces and share here – these are the “not so squiggles”, which should really put the squiggles in perspective:

ZOE’S FIRE

ZOE’S WINTER WONDERLAND

ZOE’S DOTS?

ZOE’S BLUE SMUDGE?

And remember, these are some of the BEST ones… though I must say the Rorschach test at the top was a little impressive. And I’m sure that one day, if this school has fostered a love of art in our child that helps her see beauty in the world (and be more creative than I am), I will look back and feel even guiltier about this post. But for today, I’m on a squiggle strike. (Love you, Zoe – and don’t worry – you have LOTS of other skills!)