I can’t believe it’s been 11 days since the last post. Feels more like 11 weeks! Ever seen 28 Days Later? It’s a zombie movie about “the breakdown of society following the accidental release of a highly contagious virus…” I think at this point, we might be the zombies.

Oh, yeah. Bart got a haircut. Here’s how that happened:

We head out to backyard with scissors AND clippers in hand and a pillowcase to catch the hair. [Note: I have no idea how to use clippers, other than super short, one length, so they terrify me.] First I try to trim a straight edge along the bottom in the back with the clippers, letting Zoe try once – then fixing that, giving up and switching to scissors.

Mr. Impatient thinks scissors are going to take too long and insists it’s “so much easier” to use the clippers… Grabbing the clippers himself, he says, “This is how Nona does it“, and to show how easy it is, he zips up the back of his head, creating a scalp-level stripe…

[Insert me yelling: NONONONONONONONONONO! as he repeats in an exasperated voice that “this is how she does it” and makes a longer, wider stripe #2…]

As I take the clippers away from him, I cannot stop laughing. To this day, every time I see that picture (or the back of his head), I cannot stop laughing. As any good wife would do, I FaceTime my sister to figure out how to use clippers (hoping it’s not too late), and after we stop laughing, she suggests we must have the wrong guard. Turns out we did.

Also turns out that we don’t have a “right guard”, since this is a beard trimmer, so none of the guards are very deep. As you can see around the “stripes” on the photo, we find an acceptable guard, and I use scissors for the rest (for the record, Nona does that, too, but only in a certain sequence or whatever – I have no desire to EVER be Nona).

We girls have decided that Dad always wanted to cut a peace sign (use your imagination, then stretch it) in the back of his haircut and was never brave enough. There’s no way this wasn’t intentional – he’s one of the most patient people I know!

I actually think his CoronaCut came out pretty OK for my first adult male haircut, from the front at least. Today “NotNona” will be back at it again giving two little girls haircuts and attempting to trim the edges of her own hair – without clippers.

Oh, and if you’re curious about the black star on my face on the photo above, that’s what happens when you allow two small children to EACH do HALF your makeup. It was Star Wars night (more on our themed dinners later), and my friend Karin had suggested we do a video call and allow the girls to do our makeup. Desperate times. The small people got a big kick out of it!

And so, 11 days later we are some version of “OK”. Since I never wrapped up St Patrick’s Day (my last post was the super early morning of that day), here are a few pictures of our socially distanced, pub-free celebration.

Breakfast Bagels with GREEN CREAM CHEESE!

“Green Velvet Cake” Cupcakes with Green Icing & Green M&Ms!

As you can imagine, there were various “discussions” about who got which cupcake, based on the uneven distribution of M&Ms. Lesson learned. And by the way, you need like a CUP of green food coloring (which we did not have) to turn your chocolate cake mix green, which I thought would be easy. I grew up with Red Velvet Cake and thought we could just adapt the recipe… Oh well. Ain’t nothing wrong with chocolate cake!

I have many more stories to share, so watch your inbox, assuming it doesn’t take another 11 days for me to prioritize the blog – or that we aren’t actually zombies…